Refuse to Lose

Easier said than done, right? But maybe it’s just a simple question of shifting your mindset. Maybe the way we think about winning and losing needs a fresh approach. Certainly, refusing to lose is mostly about grit, determination, desire and the will to never give-up. You have to want something badly enough to tell yourself that you won’t be defeated at any cost but not everything is worth that level of commitment and sacrifice. Often, circumstances beyond our control determine if we achieve our goals. So what sense does it make to refuse an outcome we can’t control. To refuse is to be unwilling to do something. Refusing can require the same level of will required as being willing to do something. As we all know though, willpower can be difficult to harness at the best of times.

Winning - the opposite of losing - usually implies that something is at stake. The winner is successful or victorious in acquiring something and others were deprived of something. This concept is at the heart of all competition. We are either trying to retain something or we cease to have it. Let’s call this the prize. The prize brings with it value- that value may be symbolic such as a trophy or status or it may be tangible such as financial reward. Nevertheless, how we define what we find rewarding will ultimately define what prizes we pursue and therefore how we perceive winning vs losing.

You start to see that once you think about the prize in new ways it becomes easier to apply relatively little willpower towards refusing to lose. Winning becomes effortless if the prize is in the process. As you embark on your next challenge ask yourself what is the real prize. Is it merely symbolic or status that you seek? Is it a sense of accomplishment from achieving what you set out to do? What if the greatest prize is to gain learning or growth? I would say: refuse to lose then refuse to lose.